


Impossible

by writing_way_too_much



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Vanessa kinda panics, a lot of fics in this fandom are set during Blackout, can you really blame me?, it's such a good song to write fics for though, not exactly a full-blown panic attack but if that's a trigger don't read, this is set during Blackout
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 12:45:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9897230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_way_too_much/pseuds/writing_way_too_much
Summary: Usnavi abandons Vanessa when the blackout strikes. Nina finds her.





	

**Author's Note:**

> We don't talk about Vanessa's line "you left me alone" or the fact that Usnavi abandoned her during the blackout enough. So here's a Nina/Vanessa fic about that.

“Blackout! Blackout!”

Someone’s also saying things in Spanish, but Usnavi’s voice rises above everyone else’s, shouting out the words that Vanessa feels deep in her core. 

The lights are out, and the power’s gone, and it’s scary.

“Usnavi!” she cries out, struggling through the crowd. 

Benny’s voice registers next. “Somebody better open these goddamn doors!”

That's a good idea, Vanessa thinks, and repeats it. “Somebody better open these goddamn doors!”

“Somebody better open these goddamn doors!” Benny yells again, and this time someone listens.

“I can’t find Usnavi!” Vanessa shouts, bursting out onto the street. The normal atmosphere of the Heights is gone, replaced by a distinct feeling of danger.

She thinks that she hears Usnavi’s voice warbling above the crowd. “Vanessa...I gotta go,” he says, and Vanessa presses her arms to her chest, feeling tight and panicky.

“Usnavi, help me,” she pleads.

Kevin Rosario is saying something about finding his family, but all Vanessa can focus on is her aloneness. She’s terrified and not sure if she even wants to go home, if her mother’s waiting. “Find my way home,” she continues, but Usnavi doesn’t appear, and it gets even harder to breathe. “You left me alone!” she yells, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. Her voice rises until she’s almost screaming the last word, and she stumbles to a wall, leaning against it. She wants to close her eyes, take deep breaths, clear her head, fend off the panic, but it’s not safe enough to do that. 

She’s alone, in the middle of a powerless city, and Usnavi left her, and Benny and Nina are nowhere to be seen, and all the emotions jumble up inside of her and she starts sobbing, big, heavy tears, spurned on mostly by fear, partly by the sense of being abandoned, partly because it’s late and she’s overwhelmed.

Vanessa takes a deep, shuddering breath, but the tears keep coming. She’s only a few yards from the club, but there’s nobody else around.

“Nessa?”

Vanessa looks up, astonished. “N-Nina?”

“What’s wrong?” the taller girl asks, squatting next to Vanessa. “I was just coming back to you. Benny’s safely on his way home and I thought I oughta check on you.”

Vanessa sniffs. “Thanks, Nina, that means a lot. Way more than you realize.”

“Benny said you could crash at his place ‘stead of going to your mom. That sound good?”

“That sounds amazing,” Vanessa breathes, and she shakily stands.

Somewhere along the walk to Benny’s apartment, Nina’s hand finds Vanessa’s, and Vanessa squeezes. She’s so glad that her friend came to find her. She was starting to think that even Usnavi didn’t really care about her. She knows he’s in love with her, knows that he’s cute and funny and dorky, knows that he wouldn’t be bad to date, but also knows that he’s scatterbrained and really set on going back to the Dominican Republic. Dating him wouldn’t be certain or sure.

Nina’s different.

Nina is calm. She’s solid, a rock, an endless support. She’s always there for Vanessa, and Vanessa knows that she can spend the night at Nina’s if her mom is really bad. Nina laughs with her and cries with her and called her every other day while she was at Stanford. Nina actually told Vanessa that she’d dropped out right when it happened, and Vanessa had kept the secret.

Vanessa knows she’s bi. Has known it for a long time now. She also knows that she might be falling for her best friend, and she’s desperate to not be. It’s impossible--as far as she knows, Nina’s straight, and even if Nina wasn’t, there’s no way she’d like Vanessa. But Nina is everything to Vanessa, and she doesn’t know what to feel.

“Benny?” Nina calls, knocking on the door to Benny’s apartment. Benny cracks it open. Seeing that it’s Nina and Vanessa, he opens it fully and lets them in. 

He’s made up the sofa bed, and Vanessa blinks back tears. Nina holds out a t-shirt and some sweatpants. Vanessa doesn’t know where she got them, but she’s grateful nonetheless.

Benny goes into his room and closes the door, and Nina helps Vanessa wrestle out of her dress. Vanessa is starting to panic again and she doesn’t understand why. Nina gently dresses her friend and then sits on the floor next to her.

“Breathe,” the taller girl instructs. “In for seven, out for four."

Vanessa breathes as Nina rubs soothing circles into her back. Slowly, she calms down and relaxes into Nina’s side. “Thanks,” she mumbles into the fabric of Nina’s shirt.

“Anything for you,” Nina whispers, hugging Vanessa tightly.

“So, what’s going on with you and Benny?” Vanessa asks, winking. Nina laughs softly, she has the most amazing laugh, musical and contagious.

“I think he likes me,” Nina admits. “He did dance with me a bit, before yelling at me. I didn’t know Dad was gonna sell the dispatch to pay my tuition.”

Vanessa sighs. “Do you like him?” she prods, and Nina pokes her playfully in the side.

“I don’t know,” Nina responds thoughtfully. “I do like someone else, though.”

Vanessa’s heart feels like it’s contracting. It can’t be you, she tells herself. “Who?”

“You wouldn’t believe me,” Nina mutters. “I haven’t even…” Her voice drifts off and she looks away.

“Haven’t what?”

“Told you something really important,” Nina says, playing with one of her curls. “That I realized a long time ago.”

Vanessa holds her breath. Nina is so close and so pretty, even tired and wearing sweats and a t-shirt. 

“Do you know what bisexuality is?”

Vanessa can’t breathe, and she just nods, thinks yes yes yes yes yes.

“I’m. Um. This is a lot harder than I had anticipated it being.”

“It’s okay,” Vanessa whispers, her voice cracking. “I’m that too.”

Nina stares at her.

Vanessa shrinks into herself and looks away, feeling extremely vulnerable. 

“No way,” Nina breathes.

“Yes way,” Vanessa mumbles, and Nina laughs that perfect laugh again.

“So if I tell you that I like you, you’ll be fine with that?”

“I’ll tell you that I like you too.”

“And then I won’t believe it, because that’s impossible.”

“And then I’ll do this.”

Feeling more daring than she has in a long time, Vanessa leans in, and Nina closes her eyes, and when their lips meet, Vanessa knows that she’s fallen, but she doesn’t care, because everything is okay, because Nina likes her, because she’s kissing this wonderful person and it should be impossible but nope, she’s really here. Here, with Nina’s mouth on hers, here, with Nina’s hands tangled up in her hair, here, with all panic gone, here, not alone, here.

Apparently it wasn’t impossible after all.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated, and they fuel me. remember, you don't have to be signed in to leave kudos or a comment.


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